Nick's background and thoughts on his diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome:

Q. Describe your parents?

A. I've lived in suburban Detroit my entire life, and am an only child. I have a wonderful relationship with my parents. My parents are fantastic and somewhat unusual people in that they have built niches for themselves outside of the mainstream. My dad started practicing criminal defense law in 1969 and remained at the firm for several years, but did not feel gratified with his work. So in 1975, he switched over to teaching law and has been at the University of Detroit Mercy ever since. He took a 200% pay-cut at the time, but happiness was more important to him than making money. As it has turned out for dad, being a law professor has given him the time he otherwise would not have had to do some very creative things. He has written various legal textbooks, been an analyst for different television and radio stations (including CNN), and made professional law documentaries (including interviewing Rosa Parks and Fred Gray, Martin Luther King's lawyer). One of his videos was even presented before the Florida Supreme Court. Also, I know for a fact that my relationship with Dad would not have been nearly as strong if he had stayed at the firm.

My mother also started out in a traditional role as a psychotherapist and realized it wasn't her calling. She stumbled upon Playwrighting and found her niche there. She has had numerous plays produced at theaters nationwide, and is a professor of Playwrighting at Oakland University.

It seems like creating an unusual niche is in the Dubin Gene, as that's what I will be doing with my career.

Q. What were you like as a child?

A. Unusual! That's the best word I can use. As a little kid, my dad subtlety began honing some of my present day "special interests." For example, when I was around five years old, he took me to see Ray Charles in person. I loved it, even then! He took me to Jazz festivals, Beatle Mania, and musical venues that most parents would not even dream of taking their young children to. While most kids my age were singing Ring Around The Rosey, I was singing songs like Yes Sir, That's My Baby. I became an R&B fanatic as a little five year old kid, and people used to get a kick out of it. I had a repertoire of songs that I would sing for people, like:

Crazy Little Momma
Yes Sir, That's My Baby
I'm Going to Kansas City
What'd I say?
Shake, Rattle and Roll

Socially, I was not very engaging with other children as a young child. I preferred to play on my own, and really didn't feel comfortable with others who were my age. Calling people on the telephone was always an issue, and I rarely took it upon myself to just pick up the phone and call a friend. Most of the play dates I had as a younger kid were arranged by my parents. By the time middle school rolled around, I was completely out of the loop. None of my interests were deemed as "cool" and I just didn't know how to "be" with other kids. It was a very confusing time.

Q. How is ASD most evident in you?

A. It's not terribly evident on the surface unless one gets to know me. That is why they say that Asperger's Syndrome can sometimes be known as an "invisible disability." But it is always there, believe me.

To answer your question though, I would say it is most evident in the following four ways, and I will elaborate on each:

A. In social situations

B. When I'm asked to perform a task that has a multitasking component to it

C. Lack of common sense at times

D. Being a loner

In social situations, I come across as extremely shy. I usually don't initiate conversations unless one initiates them with me. I hide my "aspie" side to the extent that I don't talk with others incessantly about the Price is Right, game shows, expressways, Asperger's, professional tennis players, or various jazz artists. My interests are indeed restricted in that I could not give a rat's behind about the current popular culture. It never has interested me. And I have learned that most people are more interested in talking about Seinfeld and Friends, than where 1-90 begins and ends. (Boston and Seattle) And that's where I'm left out of the loop. I call it cultural illiteracy.

Multitasking is also a killer for me, and this is where ASD can really rear it's ugly head. When I was student teaching for example, I was unable to process more than one direction at a time. My cooperating teacher would tell me to do 5 different things at once, and I could only process the first direction. By the time I completed my first task, I would completely forget about the 4 impending tasks. That got me into a lot of trouble. Very poor fine motor skills also brought me to my doom during student teaching.

I also sometimes lack in the common sense department. I'm almost embarrassed to give this next example, but I think it drives the point home more forcefully than if I did not give it.

I do not drink. In fact, I've never had a sip of alcohol in my entire life. The thought of putting alcohol in my mouth is abhorrent to me. And yet, when I went to Los Angeles, I stopped by a Jazz Club and bought a sweatshirt that had a picture of a tequila glass on the back of it.

So one morning as I was getting ready for student teaching and my second grade class of students, I slipped on that sweatshirt. I was so concentrated on getting ready for the day that the thought of the tequila glass on the back of my shirt never even crossed my mind. Well, you can imagine the reaction on the Principal's face when he saw me walking into the school with that shirt on. He wasn't real happy.

There are many more examples along these lines that I can give, and I mentioned a few in my article entitled Healing Through Acceptance.

For the most part, I am also a loner. Given the choice to go a dinner party or stay home and relax, I would choose the later. I definitely think that is an ASD trait. (Not to imply that all Aspies are loners)

Q. When did you first realize you were different?

A. I think at some level, I've known it all of my life. I'm sure it must have been hard for me to look around only to notice that most of the other three year olds were talking, while I wasn't able to. I do not consciously remember feeling bad about it at the time, but I would be willing to wager that on some level, it registered with me.

In the second grade, I really began to feel different from the other kids. For example, on one occasion, a girl named Stephanie and I were asked by my teacher to pick up a few items from another classroom. When we got there, I knocked and the teacher told us to come in. I tried to open the door but for some reason, it wouldn't budge. I stood there trying to pry that door open for what felt like two years, but it just would not open up. To make a long story short, I was publicly humiliated by the teacher while I could hear everyone in the class laughing at my expense. She said to me....."You mean to tell me you're in second grade.....And you're what....8 years old, and you can't even open a door?" Those words still ring in my ears to this day. As if to add insult to injury, she asked Stephanie to open the door and she did, like it was a piece of cake.

As I became older, I noticed that I did not like to partake in typical teenager activities, like going to movies, dating, etc. Kids started to view me as an eccentric. I'll never forget a certain episode in high school.

I took a social psychology class. During one session, the teacher asked everyone to take out 25 blank sheets of paper. She proceeded to explain that on each sheet of paper, we were to write down two adjectives about everyone else in the class. None of us knew as we were writing our adjectives down that the teacher would have each person look at the adjectives the other kids wrote about each of us. Well, I was in for quite a shock when I received my list. The words that appeared most often were:

Strange

Weird

Different

Geek

Loser

Can you imagine what that must have done for my self-esteem?

Q. Overall, has your diagnosis been a positive or a negative thing for you?

A. Unquestionably positive! I just want people to stop and imagine what it must be like to know something was different about you for 27 years, but not know what it is. I mean, if you're blind you know you're blind. Being blind is a hard sign; that is, it is so obvious that there's no possible way to mistake it for anything else. This is not in any way to minimize the difficulties of blindness, but only to point out that this hard sign can be spotted at a very early age.

Asperger's Syndrome, on the other hand, can be mistaken for so many different diagnoses, as was the case for me. Over the years, I've been diagnosed with:

ADD

Learning Disabled(graphomotor disability.....or dysgraphia)

Apasia (as a three year old)

Social Phobia

Non-Verbal Learning Disability

Depression

While all of these diagnoses revealed bits and pieces of what was going on with me, Asperger's Syndrome was the whole enchilada. It made sense to me from so many different angles. Having this diagnosis increased my self-awareness 250% from what it was before. It has also given me a sense of peace and tranquility that I have never really known before. I would encourage anyone who is questioning whether or not they have an ASD to be evaluated by a professional.

Q. What do you like best about being a person with ASD?

A. I like the fact that I think having an ASD makes me a nonconformist. I can sometimes have opinions that are outside of the mainstream because I feel somewhat removed from society. Most people might view that as a "bad" thing, but I like this about myself. I think it makes me a true individual.

I also think that having Asperger's makes me less dependent on others for my happiness. My happiness comes from within. Again, this could be argued positively or negatively, but I see it as a positive.

Lastly, I think Asperger's helps me to stay very focused and tunnel-visioned toward achieving my goals.

Q. What hurts you with regards to what people see as your differences?

A. What hurts me is the feeling of living on a different planet at times. Asperger's Syndrome is sometimes referred to as the "Wrong Planet" syndrome, because at times it is hard to relate to others. I also think it is human nature to feel a little lonely when one feels very different from everyone else. I've felt lonely a lot over the years, for that very reason.

Q. What is the one thing you wish everyone in the world could know about ASD?

A. Do you really want the answer to this? Because the answer I'm going to give you is something you probably haven't heard very much. But indeed, it is something that needs to be said:

Aspies have empathy

I am sick and tired of reading the writings of so called credible professionals who say that people with Asperger's Syndrome have no empathy. It just isn't true. I honestly believe that the reasons it appears people with Asperger's do not have empathy are the following two things:

1. We missed an important piece of information because we were "stimming" on something else. In other words, our hyperfocus on certain details did not allow us to see the whole picture.

2. We missed the "meaning" of something. For example, we inadvertently told an offensive joke because we honestly didn't know it was offensive. Do you honestly think we would purposefully tell an offensive joke? That would truly constitute a lack of empathy.