Bullying Appendices (By Carol Gray)
*Following is information referred to in ("Gray's Guide to Bullying," Winter 2000-Summer 2001).
Gray’s Guide to Bullying;
The Real World
Appendix A
Cross-Context Activities
Appendix A opens with a related excerpt from Gray’s Guide to Bullying Part II: The Real World, and continues with practical activities/suggestions to encourage cross-context communication with children with ASD.
FROM GRAY’S GUIDE TO BULLYING: THE REAL WORLD:
Many people remember the childhood game of Telephone, where a message is whispered around a group of children. As a young child this game frustrated me. Although I repeated to the child on my right exactly what I heard from the child on my left - as the message was sent along through the ears and minds of several other children - the result was predictably a garbled version of the original. My experience with Telephone is an example of cross-context communication at its worst – the message couldn’t survive intact across a distance of eight feet! To help children with ASD live in neighborhoods free of bullying, parents and professionals have to revive the intended spirit of Telephone – relaying a message clearly from one person to another. In addition, there is a challenge affecting this process. Cross-context communication is the recording of information in one environment and sharing it with someone in another. Parents and professionals alike know that children with ASD often have significant difficulty with this skill. Add the challenge of cross-context communication to the issues just described surrounding the discovery of a bullying interaction, and the “level of difficulty” of reporting bullying interactions from one context to another becomes readily apparent. Consequently, teaching a child to share incidences of bullying will optimally begin early (The Morning News, Volume 13, No. 1, pp.8-9).
CROSS-CONTEXT COMMUNICATION ACTIVITIES
My First Journal encourages and structures cross-context communication to help young children share “what happened at school today” or “what happened at home last evening”. Originally titled The Garbage Book (The Morning News, winter, 1994), representative “garbage” selected from home and/or school assists in the recall and reporting of events that occur in other environments. My First Journal is a daily activity that is part of a child’s communication routine.
Materials:
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One thin three-ring notebook with a clear plastic cover |
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The child’s photo or a drawing to decorate the cover |
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Plain white paper inserted into the notebook |
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Small, snack size plastic bag that can be sealed and reopened easily |
Procedure: Each evening, a child selects “garbage” that represents a chosen activity (photos of activities may also be used). For example, if the family rakes leaves together, a leaf may be selected. The leaf is placed into the snack size bag, sealed shut, and stapled into the notebook. The child takes the notebook to school. The teacher or assistant opens the notebook and encourages the child to, “Tell me about this!”
Select a quiet, comfortable setting for this activity, one that is free of distractions. The teacher or assistant sits next to the child, with attention focused on the page and the item in the bag. Whatever the child shares, the teacher/assistant writes on the paper. If the child has difficulty getting started the item may be taken out of the bag for the child to hold. This may also help a child add detail to their report. The adult records the child’s description in the notebook. The child’s report may also be illustrated with simple stick figures. This demonstrates that the adult is listening - especially to a child who may have difficulty picking up on the non-verbal cues that indicate attention. Drawing also invites further details and visually ties them together, potentially lengthening conversations with young children and helping to focus their attention on the details associated with a given topic.
At the close of the school day, the activity proceeds in reverse. A selected piece of garbage from the school day is stapled in a plastic bag onto a page in the notebook. Upon arrival home, the parent takes a few moments to record their child’s report.
Some hints:
a) Parents and professionals routinely share information via a parent-teacher notebook that travels between home and school. It is important that nothing is ever written in this notebook about the contents of My First Journal. That way, the child is the only person who can report on the event.
b) Use assumption-free questions to guide the child’s report. Instead of saying, “A french fry wrapper! Did you go to McDonald’s last night?” try “Tell me about this...”.
c) If a child struggles with “Wh” questions, use fill in the blank statements instead. In place of “What is this?” try “This is a ___________________.”
d) Allow a child time to respond.
e) This activity can be further organized around concepts in the curriculum. For example, the children bring in “garbage” surrounding a selected topic, for example, breakfast, pets, or playtime.
My First Journal structures and supports cross-context reporting. Establishing a routine and sticking with it can yeild positive and exciting results. Over time, a child’s reports grow and add detail. With minor modifications the approach can be tailored to match a child’s growing ability and skills, continuing for several years. Listed here are some variations for older children:
a) Email Report: A child sends an email each evening to their teacher describing one event from the evening. The teacher writes an email in return, or prints it out to discuss it with the child the following morning. At the close of the school day, each child sends an email home describing an event of their choice.
b) Digital Photo Report: A sequence of digital photos are taken of a school or evening event, or a sequence of activities (group time, calendar time, snack time, play time, daily work, etc.). The child describes the activity/sequence. Less difficult: An adult assists a child in sequencing the photos in a notebook. More difficult: the child carries the photos in an envelope, sequencing them on their own for their report.
c) The Daily Reporter: The final activity at the close of the school day is to prepare a report of the day, using picture symbols, words, sentences, or representative “garbage” to create a incomplete puzzle that only the child can interpret upon arrival home.
1. And, just where have YOU been? Modeling reporting from other environments starts with parents and teachers. It is simple. Mom and Dad go out for the evening, and bring back Polaroid or digital photos, or a movie ticket stub, to share. Mom sends a postcard from every business trip, they are kept in a small photo album. A teacher stays home ill, and brings in a book she read in bed, along with a Polaroid photo of teacher, book, and bed. Dad and Benjamin go to the bookstore and bring back a bag from the check-out lady…guess where we went?
The Delivery Game may be played with a child who is verbal or non-verbal. There are several variations. Start with the exchange of information within an environment, for example, from the kitchen to the bathroom at home. Examples:
Keep In Touch: Dad and Robert kiss mom goodbye and head to the ball game. One hour later, mom calls on the cell phone. Robert tells mom what he can see. This game is easier for “Roberts” who may have difficulty reporting after the game.
The Real World “Memory” Game: Been there…remember that? In the car after visiting the grocery store, mom and Andrea take turns stating the names of people, objects, etc. that they remember. Stuck? Andrea can glance into the back seat and look at the groceries; not mom, she’s driving.
Visual Bridges (Hodgdon, 2000) pick up where My First Journal leaves off, adding increasing detail to match a child’s growing abilities. Visual bridges are “homework” for young children. A child helps to create a “report”, using pictures or lists, of an activity at home or school. The activities can be modified to match a child’s ability, becoming more detailed, or requiring more verbal reporting, as a child matures.
Gray’s Guide to Children’s Books
Related to Bullying and Self Esteem
By Carol Gray
There are a number of children’s books that deal with the topic of bullying. The right books, shared with an understanding of the issues related to bullying, can support, expand, and enhance an anti-bullying curriculum or program. Disappointingly, this author has discovered that some books for children are not consistent with the research or current understanding of their time. For example, some books contain unrealistic bullying interactions, reflect a lack of understanding or disregard of the main issues surrounding this topic, and often depict main characters modeling inappropriate and in some cases dangerous responses to bullies. In the opinion of this author, this is unfortunate for all children – especially for books sharing information on such a critical and important topic. For children with autism spectrum disorders (ASD), the negative implications are potentially greater.
This section of “Gray’s Guide to Bullying” reviews several children’s books that address topics related to self-esteem and bullying. Many parents and professionals may encounter these books in bookstores or resource catalogs as they search for materials to enhance their anti-bullying efforts. Here, books are evaluated regarding their consistency with the research; in other words, do the content, text, and illustrations reflect “best practice” and the insights of recent literature on the subject? In addition, the applicability of each selection for children with ASD is considered, with comments regarding possible considerations or adaptations of the material.
This guide is intended to:
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Save parents and professionals time and financial resources as they search for anti bullying materials, assisting in the selection of those books most likely to be helpful. |
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Increase the awareness of parents, general and special educators of the need to carefully consider bullying materials that may be used with a child with ASD. This may be especially important for children who are included in general education settings. |
Parents and special education professionals looking for materials and resources on the topic of bullying may be overwhelmed by the titles available. The search to find books likely to be helpful for an individual child with ASD may be costly in terms of time and financial resources, and ultimately disappointing. Many books are inherently a closer “match” in terms of content and format to the special needs of children with autism spectrum disorders. To minimize confusion, this section reviews and shares excerpts from several children’s books, discussing each selection in terms of its applicability to children with ASD.
In increasing numbers, children with ASD are included in general education classrooms. Materials related to bullying issues may be selected by a general education teacher or school counselor for use in the general education setting. These same materials may be confusing or potentially misleading for the child with ASD. This list serves as a guide for those professionals who, while purchasing resources for students in the general education setting, need guidelines to make modifications for included students with autistic spectrum disorders.
A few considerations apply to using Gray’s Guide to Children’s Books About Bullying to its greatest advantage. The guide is organized into general age levels. In addition, within each level books are listed from easiest to most advanced. This list includes books appropriate for many ability levels to acknowledge the wide range of cognitive skills and interests among children with autistic spectrum disorders. The age and developmental level listed for each book is based on typical child development and is intended as a general guide. The inclusion of a book in this list does not imply an endorsement or rejection of its content or format. Parents and professionals are advised to consider the discussion of each book in light of their first-hand knowledge of an individual child, and to use their judgment accordingly. Books with an *asterisk beside them are resources that may be used to compliment and expand upon the information in the student workbook, “Bullying”.
Young children 3 – 8
In the early to mid elementary grades, the children’s book, Trevor Trevor by Dr. Diane Twachtman Cullen can follow The Sixth Sense.
Berenstain, S. & Berenstain, J. (1993). The Berenstain Bears and the BULLY.
The content of The Berenstain Bears and the Bully is inconsistent at many levels with the bullying research. First, it portrays the parental role in a bullying situation as caring-but-uninvolved. In addition, Brother Bear leaves for the playground without permission, and upon returning from the playground responds dishonestly to his parents’ inquiry regarding where he has been, without any consequence. The most obvious departure from the research is Sister Bear’s response to the Bully, as she physically confronts the bully. For parents who may hope that their children will follow their advice and instructions in response to a bully, Brother and Sister Bear’s lack of respect for their parent’s plan – and Papa and Mama Bear’s limited control of the situation – may not be the desired message. For these reasons, this book is potentially misleading for typical children.
In addition to these concerns, this book may be very confusing to children with ASD. The text is quite advanced considering the intended audience of a picture book, and quite extensive. The text requires the reader to understand unstated information, for example, Brother Bear’s motivation in suddenly departing for the playground. As another example, a child with ASD may not pick up on Mama and Papa Bear’s disapproval of Sister Bear’s expressed desire for physical revenge, which is implied but certainly not clear (“Now, Sister,” said Mama, “we’ve been through all that.”). With respect for the popularity of the Berenstain Bears series, parents are cautioned as to the applicability of this book and the coverage of the topic.
Nickle, J. (1999). The Ant Bully.
But the ants didn’t like to get wet…and soon they had had enough.
With great skill and team effort, they stuffed Lucas’s large body into their ant hold and forced him into the Queen’s chamber.
Coolly, she look him over. “So you are the one who always floods my colony. Don’t you realize how long and hard we work to build what you destroy in seconds?
Lucas works alongside the worker ants as they gather food, defend themselves against spiders and wasps, and serve the Queen Ant. At the close of this fast moving story, Lucas comes to the rescue of two ants in danger. He is returned to his original size, where he discovers the ants have shrunk Sid, the bully.
Designed for young children, the fantasy aspects of this book may be confusing and misleading for children with ASD. For typical children, the book does succeed at illustrating the perspective of those with less power in a bully-victim interaction. It does not provide realistic information on how to respond to a bully. The characters are quite stereotyped and exaggerated. An interesting book that may hold value in initiating a discussion of bullying with young children, extra care will be required to share this book with a child with ASD.
Children ages 7-9
This excerpt is from A Children’s Book About BEING BULLIED (p. 21):
Ignore bullies if you have to be around them.
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Do not look at them. |
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Do not listen to them. |
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Do not respond to them. |
Bullies are less likely to bother you if you do not pay attention to them.
Children with ASD are not likely to develop the social understandings assumed by the text until a little older; by the time they can begin to apply the information the book may appear too “babyish”. The illustrations are intended to expand upon and enhance the meaning of the text, but for a child with ASD may seem at face value to be in conflict with one another. For example, the illustration opposite the excerpted text depicts a teacher introducing a new child to the class, a child who earlier in this story is introduced and depicted as a bully. The child that was victimized by the bully earlier in the story is seated, eyes rolled upward in exasperation and disappointment, thinking, “OH NO! HE’S GOING TO BE AROUND EVERY DAY! I’LL JUST HAVE TO IGNORE HIM!” Opposite the text describing how to ignore, the expression on the face of our victim is no example. Some of the advice regarding what to do in response to a bully require the reader to think one thing, but do another – something very difficult children with ASD to understand.
Cole, J. (1989). Bully Trouble.
Robby got out a bowl.
He put in a little vinegar, a little stead sauce, and a lot of prune juice. He mixed it all around. It looked horrible.
Arlo and Robby poured it into the empty soda can. Arlo said, “This is great!”
Eddie sees the two boys enjoying the jelly sandwich, grabs the second sandwich, and takes a bite – it’s very hot, so he tries to wash it down with the “altered” soda. All the children at the baseball park laugh at Eddie, concluding that Eddie only bothers children who let him get away with his intimidation toward others.
A “Note to Parents” appears on the first page of this book: “When your children are ready to ‘step into reading,’ giving them the right books – and lots of them – is as critical as giving them the right food to eat.” (p. 1). This author agrees with that statement, but is concerned that the implication is that this is one of those books. For children who may interpret the text literally, the book is highly misleading and ineffective. Also of a concern for any child is the inappropriateness of the conflict resolution skills, and the omission of any involvement from adults (coaches, parents, etc.). The research on bullying is not reflected in this book, a valuable opportunity is missed.
Slater, T. (1995). Who’s Afraid of the BIG, BAD BULLY?
Max had lots of fun in karate class. He learned how to kick. He learned how to chop.
But the next time he saw Big Bertha, Max did exactly what he always did.
He ran the other way!
According to the research on bullying, this is a good decision on Max’s part, although the text does not make that clear. In addition, the text misses another opportunity to model effective conflict resolution skills via Max’s father.
In defense of his dog, Max finally stands up to Bertha with a defiant, “NO!” His example is followed by other children in the area, who each respond confidently to Bertha’s intimidating comments and requests. Ultimately, Bertha is included with the others, having abandoned her bullying behavior. Children may be able to identify with much of the text and illustrations, but the opportunity to teach the appropriate use of skills like karate, or the important and helpful role of parents in bullying situations, is missed.
Reynolds Naylor, P. (1991). King of the Playground.
This excerpt is from page 10, illustrated with Kevin sitting on the porch watching his father wash the car:
Kevin went home and sat on the porch. Father was washing his car.
“I thought you were going to the playground,” Father called.
On page 11, the illustration is of Kevin up to his shoulders in a hole, pleading with Sammy who is towering over him busy with the shovel:
Kevin shook his head. “Sammy says if I go on the swings, he’ll dig a hole and put me in it. He says he’ll dig a hold so deep I’ll never get out.”
Considerations when using this book with children with ASD: Parents and professionals are cautioned to be aware of several factors that may make this book misleading and potentially frightening to young children with ASD. The intent of several of the illustrations is to depict the unrealistic and improbable nature of Sammy’s threats. From the perspective of a young child with ASD, this point may be missed. Interpreted literally, several of the illustrations are quite violent, especially if the child does not pick up on the meaning of the facial expressions of the characters. The father’s efforts to console his son with more realistic information may be missed by a child with ASD.
Middle Elementary (ages 9 – 11)
Boulden, J. & Boulden, J. (1994). Push & Shove: Bully & Victim Activity Book.
An excerpt (p.1):
This is a story about a bully and a victim. Bullies pick on weaker people called “victims”.
Butch is the bully and the victim is Luis. You may know kids like Butch and Luis in your own school.
Children with ASD are likely to be confused by both the text and illustrations, which often are depicting two or more concepts simultaneously. The reader may be required to answer questions from a variety of different perspectives (bully, victim, bystander) within a few pages. This will require quick transitions to access social information from a variety of different perspectives. Since the concept of bullying is likely to be difficult to comprehend by itself, the combination of challenging concepts and consideration from a variety of social perspectives may render this an ultimately more difficult book than it appears at face value. The characters are consistently quite stereotyped in both the text and accompanying illustrations. These tightly defined characters may provide undependable and inaccurate information for children with ASD. For example, in the excerpted text, the phrase, “…weaker people are called “victims” is inaccurate, as victims are only weaker in relationship to the inappropriate and misuse of power of the bully. Also, for those who are often victimized by bullies with friendly faces and manner, the stereotypical depiction of characters is limits a child’s understanding to those whose intent and manner are extremely obvious. For children with ASD, this book may require too much explanation and adaptation to be worthwhile.
Crary, E. (1983, 1996). My Name is Not Dummy.
An excerpt from My Name is Not Dummy, from the selected response, Cry, page 8:
Jenny decides to cry. She says, “I’m not a dummy.”
Eduardo says, “Yes, you are.”
Jenny cries harder.
Eduardo begins to chant, “You are a cry baby! You are a cry baby!”
How does Jenny feel?
Sad and mad. Sad because she doesn’t know what to do. Mad because she
Doesn’t like to be called a dummy or cry baby.
Choices:
What do you think Jenny will do next?
Call Eduardo a dummy………………………………………………..p. 10
Tell on Eduardo……………………………………………………..….p. 12
Considerations when using this book with children with ASD: A good depiction of a minor conflict between two friends, the response options discussed in My Name is Not Dummy are less applicable to a bullying situation where the actions of the aggressor are more severe and frequent. In addition, this book describes poor response options in detail, information that may mislead a child with ASD who may miss the implied message that these response options are ineffective and/or undesirable. A disappointing aspect to the story is that regardless of the response option selected by the reader, Eduardo’s name calling stands without negative consequences. For these reasons, My Name is Not Dummy may not be applicable for children with ASD, and at very least will require thoughtful consideration and modification by parents / professionals.
Gedig Burnett, K. (2000). Simon’s Hook: A story about teases and put-downs.
An excerpt from “Simon’s Hook” as he encounters his friends for the first time (p. 4)…
“Hey, Lawn Mower Head!” Joey said.
Simon grabbed his hat and started to leave.
“I’ve got to go home,” he said as he stomped away. “I’ve got chores to do.”
“Don’t forget to cut the lawn,” said Nicole.
Everyone laughed – everyone but Simon.
compared to Simon’s response on page 31 after talking with his grandmother:
“How’s the hair?” Miguel asked.
“It’s still on my head,” said Simon, “at least what’s left of it.”
Simon and Miguel laughed.
“Did you mow the lawn?” Nicole asked.
“No way!” Simon cried. “It might end up looking like this,” he said pointing to his head.
Now everyone laughed.
Considerations when using this book with children with ASD: A few distinct pros and cons emerge in the selection of this book for use with children with ASD. Among the positive aspects is the use of a strong analogy – fish taking the hook – to help children understand that for bullying to be successful someone has to “take the hook”. This analogy is then applied to the original situation, as Simon returns to the ball field to use more effective statements in response to his antagonizing peers. In addition, the occasional use of thought symbols illustrates what the characters are thinking, this is especially helpful when the thoughts are in contrast to statements.
A possible negative of this book is that there is a basic premise behind Simon’s Hook that may ultimately backfire for children with ASD. In Simon’s case, upon using his new responses to teasing, he is readily accepted and included as part of the group. The story closes with an invitation to Simon to play ball. Simon is obviously a member of this group already, the story describing a minor “altercation” within an existing group of friends. For students with ASD, the source of teasing may be based in a non- acceptance that extends beyond the occasional bad haircut, making the end of the story an unlikely outcome. If a child with ASD has friends but needs help to understand the teasing that may occur, Simon’s Hook may be a good choice.
*Howe, J. (1996). Pinky and Rex and the Bully.
Pinky is an interesting personality. He has an unusual favorite color for a boy and displays that choice openly (pink stuffed animals, pink bicycle, Pinky as a nickname, pink tennis shoes). He occasionally makes literal interpretations of statements made by other characters. Pinky plays mostly with one very sympathetic girl, Rex, and has a strong relationship with Mrs. Morgan, a kind woman who lives across the street.
Mrs. Morgan rescues Pinky from Kevin, who is calling Pinky a “sissy”, while causing him to fall from his bicycle (p. 3):
“Stop that! You leave him alone!” a voice called out. Pinky recognized it as Mrs. Morgan’s. Now his cheeks really burned. It was embarrassing enough to be bullied, but to be saved by a old woman made it even worse.
“It’s okay, Mrs. Morgan,” Pinky said, scrambling to his feet. “I…I just fell off my bike.”
“I was trying to help him up,” Kevin lied. He pretended to pat Pinky on the shoulder, but pinched him hard instead.”
Pinky finally responds to the bully effectively by agreeing with him. When teased about his pink tennis shoes, Pinky responds firmly, “I like them.” He continues by stating he is not a girl, not a sissy, and concludes with “…and if you think so, it just shows how dumb you are.” In this scene Pinky pokes Kevin in the chest while making these comments, and this – along with calling Kevin “dumb” – are not recommended choices of action according to the research on bullying. However, the honesty of Pinky’s response, and the support and continuing involvement of Mrs. Morgan, brings Pinky’s response to the bully close to a good model of conflict resolution.
With a little correction and explanation, this book is a healthy choice for typical children, and with further explanation may be helpful for children with ASD. Children with ASD may relate to Pinky’s focused interest, his preference for playing with girls, or his literal interpretations. The intervention by Mrs. Morgan is appropriate, and she plays a helpful role throughout the text. Perhaps most helpful is her advice to Pinky to not change, to not abandon his nickname or his favorite color. Her support that he is aok just the way he is, leads to his honest, straight forward defense of himself to Kevin. Some passages may be challenging for children with ASD to understand. For example, in the excerpt above, a child with ASD may need help to understand the embarrassment felt by Pinky, and why he tells Mrs. Morgan he “just fell off” his bike, when in fact Kevin caused the spill.
This is an interesting children’s book, and with explanation and discussion may be beneficial as a complement to an anti-bullying curriculum in a general education classroom. An important anti-bullying concept that is beautifully portrayed in this book is the clear defense of Pinky’s right to be himself, and his ultimate defense of his uniqueness. The involvement of a caring and accepting adult, and Pinky’s near-perfect response to the bully, make this book a good choice with real learning potential.
Late Elementary / Early Secondary (ages 10 – 14)
Bosch, C.W. (1988). Bully on the Bus.
(Soft cover, 58 pages will black and white illustrations.) Bully on the Bus is a story with an unusual format: the reader makes choices throughout and follows the story line based on each selection. The story opens with the reader waiting at the bus stop, aware and apprehensive of a big fifth grader, Nick Jones, who is on the bus and waiting to “punch your face in” today. Thus, the first choice is to get on the bus, or refuse to get on the bus. Other choices throughout the text include staying in the same
*Kaufman, G., Raphael, L., Espeland, P. (1999). Stick Up for Yourself! Every Kid’s Guide to Personal Power and Positive Self-Esteem.
Considerations when using this book with children with ASD: Some sections of Stick Up for Yourself may be difficult for students with ASD to understand, requiring some explanation and demonstration of those concepts by adults. However, this is countered by the use of a writing style that presents one idea at a time, provides “real-life” examples, incorporates visual analogies, uses clear but creative illustrations and tables to reinforce important concepts, and a uses a repetitive format to organize ideas and activities in each chapter.
What follows is a excerpt from Stick Up for Yourself, in a section titled, Grow a Feelings Vocabulary, p. 25:
How good are you at naming your feelings? Is it easy or hard for you to come up with the right words to describe how you feel?
You can grow a feelings vocabulary by:
· listening to other people talk about their feelings
· asking for help explaining your feelings, and
· reading about feelings, the way you’re doing now.
An interesting section follows this excerpt on pairs of low and high intensity feelings (for example, interest-excitement, shame-humiliation) interspersed with an activity related to each set. This children’s book does a beautiful job of presenting ideas that are applicable and beneficial to children and adults alike, in a way children can understand and apply. Applicable for children at the higher end of the ASD spectrum with guidance and adaptation.
Cohen-Posey, K. (1995). How to Handle Bullies, Teasers, and Other Meanies: A Book that Takes the Nuisance Out of Name Calling and other Nonsense.
Children with Autism: a booklet for brothers and sisters. Printed by Fineprint (
The Secret Record of Me (by ME and Roland Harvey) (36 pages) Bright and colorful! A fun, creative, and “concrete” presentation of a child’s likes, dislikes, personality traits, etc. First published by Roland Harvey Books in
See also, What Does it Mean to Me? By Catherine Faherty. Future Horizons (2000).
