By Laurel A. Falvo

Years ago,  I came to the conclusion that being a parent to a child identified as having a "special need" was a blessing in disguise. While many things can be taken for granted in life, this forces us to be a more deliberate parent. At the time of a diagnosis, it may be tempting to stop and grieve potentially broken dreams. Instead, we can made a decision to parent more deliberately. In other words, although we may not be able to assume that a particular child will be in a regular classroom, develop close friendships, drive, go to college, marry, live independently, contribute productively to society, or become gainfully employed, we can make decisions and provide instruction which would equip our children with the skills and information needed to reach their full potential--and to possibly reach many of these milestones along the way!

I believe that the decision to "parent deliberately" can make us better parents, and has often contributed to children's success. I also believe that autism spectrum disorders (ASD) force all of us, mostly for the better, to live more deliberately. Here are some examples:

- In choosing gifts for an individual with ASD, parents, grandparents, and siblings often validate a special interest, or select a gift that will encourage valuable strengths or address challenges rather than following the latest fad or craze of age peers.

- With a child with ASD in the classroom, teachers look for new ways to teach and to manage classroom dynamics, rather than relying on past techniques and experiences.

- Individuals with ASD try to observe others and ask questions in order to understand the world around them and to participate in it successfully.

- Siblings, parents, grandparents, spouses, teachers, therapists, and colleagues attempt to avoid sarcasm, dual meanings, and implied communication, focusing instead on communicating in a direct and meaningful way.

- Parents may examine their family's diet, considering how foods possibly contribute to autistic behaviors.

- Caregivers structure schedules and outings to promote success for children and young adults with ASD.

- People use Social Stories(TM) and other resources to provide necessary social information for individuals with ASD.

How about you? Has being involved with individuals with ASD (or having been diagnosed yourself) caused you to live more deliberately? I'd love to hear your examples! 
 

Best wishes as you promote success--your own and that of others--through deliberate living and parenting!

© 2007 Laurel A. Hoekman/Laurel A. Falvo